Wot, more bloody bikes…?

Just a few more of me bikes – well, the ones I have photos of to hand anyway.  At the last count I’d owned over a hundred, but that was a few years ago, so it’ll be more than that now. The most I’ve owned at once was twelve, I’ve never counted how many I own at the moment, somewhere around 8 I think. The following are in no particular order, just the way I scanned them in…

Me Silver Triumph: I built it only cos I come across a burnt out motor and frame while pickin a bike up for a mate, an the dude sold it me cheap.

img_1144135315_15090_1148487617_mod_310_204Made up a hardtail, salvaged the original back wheel and forks, used a Russian Regent 125 front wheel (looks like it lived on the bike forever don’t it?), cheapo Coker tires, peanut tank wot used to be on me T’Bird, widened some old bars, job done.

img_1144135315_15091_1148487731Made up a hardtail, salvaged the original back wheel and forks, used a Russian Regent 125 front wheel (looks like it lived on the bike forever don’t it?), cheapo Coker tires, peanut tank wot used to be on me T’Bird, widened some old bars, job done.

img_1144135315_15092_1148487777Okay, I spent a bit on the new pipes, an a coupla shiny bits, but most of it was made from stuff just lying about the shed. Sold it to one of the dudes from Dice magazine.


Me Cossack: I road tested a Cossack for a magazine, an it was so groovy I had to have one. I bought one brand new (!) off the importers, ordered it minus tank, bars, silencers etc, and with a Ural front end on a Dnepr chassis (to get the groovy headlight nacelle). I stuck a Matchless G3 tank on, an some California Pullback bars, made some stainless fin-tail straight through pipes, and painted it black with Mirra-Flake details. I made all the electrics and switches fit in the nacelle, and welded the handlebar levers to the bars, to keep everythin clean an tidy.

img_1144135315_15093_1148487818_mod_309_256Oh, an I got Don Blocksidge to engrave the covers before havin them fake gold (ie: brass) plated. Went all over on it, real sweet bike to ride, even joined the Cossack Owners Club (motto: “Better To Travel In Hope On A Cossack Than Just To Arrive On A Honda.” – honest, it was on the front of their newsletters.). Sold it out of Loot newspaper to a scouser.



Me Bros: One of Honda’s better efforts – hence never available in this country – we only get the shite… Pokey 650 V-twin, alloy perimeter chassis, single side swingarm, decent brakes etc. I bought it as a grey import, dropped the clip-ons below the top yoke, fitted a RGV250 race seat unit, moulded it in so it flowed into the tank nicely, knocked up a two-into-one exhaust cos the original Honda thing was as twonky looking as it was bloody silent…

img_1144135315_15095_1148488028It made a proper modern café racer. It handled a treat, an you could tool about all day below 5,000 revs an it was like ridin a big single, or cane it and it went like a big twin – ran quarters at 13 seconds dead. Oh yes, then I stuck nitrous on it (well, I had the kit lying around from the Pink Triumph). Which was even groovier except it fried the clutch regularly. Sold it to some journo bloke.

img_1144135315_15096_1148488241_mod_235_344(okay, this ain’t me drag racin it at Pennine, this is the infamous Jennie-Lou…)

(I do have quite nice legs meself tho…)



Me Imposter: Made from an old 1970’s Yamaha 100 two-stroke I scored for 40 quid. I made up the hardtail, used the original wheels but stuck old school Dunlop/Avon tyres on, the rest was made from scrap.


Front forks are dummy girders, usin old lawnmower handles, headlight brackets from a TV aerial, rear mudguard from a Regent 125, stays from old gas pipe, number plates cut from old alloy baking tin, air filter from a Cadbury’s Smash tin, tool box from a tin of toffees. The tank is an old original Bantam, but the bits on the engine are just stuff from scrap box glued on to make it look old.

img_1144135315_15098_1148488544Hand change used an old file handle for the wooden knob. Total cost all in an on the road, 73 quid. Did a coast-to-coast run for charity on it, Preston to Blackpool to Scarborough to Preston, 10 hours in the pissin rain, raised 846 quid from the NSPCC. It was absolute top fun to ride, but I eventually sold it on ebay, but one of those bikes I kinda wish I’d kept…


 Fi’s Bike: Me mate Fi had a Tribsa chop, prismic tank and 6-inch overs, so we cut it down into a flat-tracker.img_1144135315_15100_1148488678img_1144135315_15101_1148488761_mod_341_219Peanut tank, sawed the forks down to stock length, stole the chunky tyres off me Cossack, painted it yellow and chequers. Yay!


img_1144135315_15102_1148488826_mod_316_215Me VT1100: Bought a front ended VT cheap off me mate. The frame was bent, but I chained the back of the bike to me shed and the front to me van front bumper, and set off backwards a lot. Once everything had slid off the dashboard and I’d got whiplash, the frame was straight.

Made a new front end using shortened Honda Dominator stanchions, Kawasaki 550 Zephyr sliders, Yamaha Dragstar hub and disc, 750 Zephyr rim, Honda caliper, 440LTD Kwacker radiator. I made a new stem and straightened the original yokes in me mate’s 30 ton press, cut the gas tank in half and knocked it out where it had been flattened. I manufactured the pipes to me own design (can you tell…?). Sold the bike on ebay cos wanted to build summat else.

img_1144135315_15103_1148488935(Cool floozie is Fi’s daughter Cara.)


Me 880 FUCKOFF: Had an XS650 rollin chassis, stuck a full race over-bored 880 motor in it, used a Kwacker motocross alloy swingarm, painted bits of it pink, stuck 880 FUCKOFF graphics on the sidepanels. It were reet fast like…img_1144135315_15113_1148590780

img_1144135315_15129_1149410417Here’s me givin it rice at Pennine Drags. I can’t remember what times it ran, but it were quick like, and had torque to pull yer arms off…


img_1144135315_15104_1148489103Me XS650: Bought as a basket-case stock XS650 Custom – built a flat-tracker out of it. Rode it. Sold it.


img_1144135315_15111_1148589766Me M20 : Bought as a nearly finished part restored project. Give 200 quid for it, finished it, never rode it, sold it for 600 quid (all it was worth back then…). Wish I still had it now.


img_1144135315_15105_1148489181Me Norvil: Found it in a farmer’s barn up Garstang while pickin up spuds in me lorry about 25 years ago. Went back an bought it (the same week, not 25 years later…). Got it runnin and painted it. Rode round on it. Sat me mate Angie on it. Sold it eventually.


img_1144135315_15112_1148590459Me Harley: Me first ever brand new bike! It was a stock 883 imported from States. By the time I’d done 1500 miles it was so crap and boring I pulled it to bits. I bored it out to 1200cc, ported the heads, fitted a Screamin Eagle carb and ignition module, SuperTrapp 2-into-1 stainless competition exhaust, Progressive Suspension fork springs and shocks, JMC alloy swingarm, four-piston front caliper, XLCR tank and seat unit,  flat-track bars, wider alloy rims I had anodised blue with stainless spokes, proper decent tyres, cut-away the sprocket cover and replaced it with a one-off anodised alloy plate, and shoved on a nose-cone fairing. Finally it was a half decent bike. But by then I couldn’t justify havin so much money in one motorcycle. So, having waited 31 years to own a Harley, after seeing Freewheelin Frank in the colour centrespread of the Sunday supplement when I was 14, I didn’t keep it long and sold it. I used the money to buy me Cossack (my only other brand new motorcycle), a dirt bike, and still had a coupla grand left over. More smiles per pound… :-)


img_1144135315_15106_1148489264Me B31: Bought a B31 on ebay last year. It looked all lovely an original like you see it here. So I tore it all to bits and sold all the stock parts on ebay. Am currently building the world’s funkiest bobber out of the remains. Watch this space… (2015 update, finished bike here: https://picasaweb.google.com/118434043104377708565/BSABobber )



Me cute likkle Jimmy:

Couldn’t resist this, even tho me B31 was only half done. 1949 James Autocycle rollin chassis, bought it on ebay earlier this year, will build something tremendously groovy out of it. Honest… (2015 update, finished bike here: https://picasaweb.google.com/118434043104377708565/Speedster build-up shots here: https://picasaweb.google.com/118434043104377708565/SpeedsterBuildUp)


And seeing as how you stuck with this page right to the end, here’s a couple more of the very delectable Cara (is she a sweetie or what…)  taken on a shoot I did  for 100% Biker magazine…